I’m in Budapest right now and I haven’t been this relaxed in a long time. I can’t say I’m 100% happy but so far this trip is teaching me how to let myself be happy. I’ve been journaling a lot and reading which has been opening my mind to the thoughts I’ve been thinking but have never expressed or observed. I feel really in touch with myself which I haven’t felt in ages. I always felt like a hollow shell in Los Angeles because I never felt like I was truly living and I didn’t really have any genuine feelings that I could understand where they came from. But here, so far, I’m feeling. A lot of things. I’m curious again and adventurous too. Roaming the nooks and crannies of new and exciting cities has made me realize that the world is so big and life is full of excitement and enjoyment if you allow yourself to look at the bigger picture. There’s more to life than high school. To Los Angeles. To grades. To test scores. Life is about living and experiencing and trying new things and feeling and I haven’t done any of these things in a while but now that I’m doing all of this I hope to come back home refreshed and holding on tight to the new life motto that I should give a fuck about certain things, but I should always put myself, my sanity, and life first.
Getting to know myself is a really weird process